Thursday, August 25, 2011

. . .Dot ... Dot...Dot . . .

****Spolier Alert**** - this is not funny but perhaps hope filled????

Today's BIG news was Steve Jobs of Apple stepped down.

I have never been an "Apple follower". I had an Ipod for about 2 months until it went missing. I did however learn today of a quote of his."You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

I read this statement very quickly (breezed by it really) and thought nothing more of it initially, but for some reason it niggled at my brain. This statement made me stop and think. There is so much truth. I knew I had to write about it, if nothing more than to teach me something more about Me.

I have in the last few years been through challenge upon challenge with countless challenges throw on top for good measure ( I can honestly say that I have earned every single grey hair on my head and I wear them in pride as I feel each one represents a small victory).

In difficult times people often ask, "why me?" or " what did I do to deserve this?".

Right now it is the Holy month of Ramadan. There is a common phrase in Islam. Insh'a'Allah. This means simply "God Willing".

God ... Willing.... Should God desire this in the future...

We never know what is around the corner. We never know if what we are planning today will come to fruition tomorrow. We can hope. We can Pray. We can manipulate and shape and apply and focus. We can bang our heads against the wall and rail at the gods. In the end, we never REALLY know. We have to TRUST that at the end of each of our little journeys we end up where we are intended.

Usually we achieve our goals. But I ask.... how often did your plan go EXACTLY as you planned?

Did something actually happen that was a bit of a glitch at the time but turned out to show you an added perk or benefit? Did you learn something that made you stop and rethink and perhaps reshape your plans? OR, did you end up someplace completely unexpected by a strange turn of events but that you ended up completely happy with?

I know that during the last 4 or 5 years of my life I have many times said WHY? or HOW? (most often it was how much more can I endure???). Looking back, I see a very clear pathway. At times direct, sometimes convoluted, but a definite path leading me from who I was to who I am now. I can clearly connect the dots showing a pathway that at the time was a dark scary isolated and very lonely place. I can remember saying frequently to a very dear friend that I felt as though I was sitting in a dark place not moving not growing, completely alone simply turning in constant circles. There was no hope, no future, that I was just enduring a perpetual deep darkness alone. "Red" would tell me I am never alone and reassure me constantly with gentle words and prayer. (Thank you Red, you are my blessing).

My mantra became " when you are going through hell you might as well keep moving "

And now I am the Me I am now. I look back and connect the dots. I never knew I would be where I am now. I never knew the plans I am formulating now would ever be a possibility. Five years ago I was not in a place that I could have even planned what I am doing now. But, here I am and I am thrilled. It was a journey. The Dots are connected. The dots connected as I moved through life. They connected as I grew.

I am still on a journey. I am not finished. I know I have a long way to go to get to where I now am able to hope to be. The difference now is I am trusting that the Dots in my future will connect. Knowing that these dots will connect is another way of giving us Hope. Hope that we will be where we are intended to be. Hope that our talents and skills, when focussed will bring us to our intended destination. I will be where God Wills me to be... Insh'a'Allah.

An aside. A Prominent and very well respected politician here in Canada lost his battle with cancer. In a letter he wrote to Canadians only two days before his death he closed with the following : "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."

So, I will close by saying I Hope to continue connecting the dots, to end in a better place than I am now, through the journey I am currently on, surrounded by love. My wish is for all those who are facing difficulties and challenges to look back and connect the dots of their past and in that glance backwards, find the hope that they too can meet their future head on and end up where they hope to be.

R.I.P. Mr. Layton

Sunday, August 14, 2011

(as promised) ... The Dorky Dog

So, I recently found myself the default owner of a dog. I tollerate dogs. I am a cat person. I can relate to cats. Cats like to curl up in a patch of sunshine and sleep. Cats have discriminating tastes for things like seafood and duck. Cats, when aggravated, display sharp claws. Cats purr when rubbed the right way. Cats don't require anything remotely equivalent to babysitting. They don't need to be let out at a certain time. They seek affection occasionally. They don't get underfoot (or block entire doorways with just their head!). They don't get into the garbage (kitchen or washroom). Cats don't roll in anything smelly.

Other than an occasional hair ball and the kitty litter regime, Cats are low maintenance.

So, I have a dog. I have learned it is true that dogs are completely opposite to cats. Take any statement from above, and turn that statement to the exact opposite and you are describing a dog (ok, with the dog, when you rub the right spot...he kicks - I seriously don't understand that one... but hey, whatever floats your boat dog).

Now, my dog is not just a little lap dog (albeit this one seems to think he is), he is a German Shepherd. A German Shepperd who at 18 weeks is already 60 pounds (45 kilos). A German Shepherd whose father is 110 pounds and a mother who is herself a hulking 85 pounds. A German Shepherd that has paws larger than my fist. (What I am trying to say here in so many words is, I have a German Shepherd who promises to be the size of a small -insert large animal of choice here-)

I live in a small one story house... with 3 cats (aka dog toys).

Dogs...are.... GROSS....they do horrid things... anyone who has had the experience of dogs and cats cohabitating can relate to the "tootsie roll" treats (I did not "know this" prior to owning a dog).

But I have to admit... coming home to a great beast whose actions can be summed up by:


A simple scratch on an ear and a couple treats, a kind word and a gentle hand adds up to a loyal and VERY protective friend.

We could all learn a lesson from this in how we treat eachother. If we all took the time for a kind word, a gentle hug, the sharing of food and a sympathetic ear, how many more loyal friends could we all have?

And as an aside..these two ( Boo is my polydactyl oriental, Panzer my "tank" of a dog )... have "exchanged" words (Boo is quite rude and spits in Panzer's face), a "gentle" nudge from Panzer results in a firm and clawed swipe to the puppy's schnoz....and they have certainly NOT "shared food" as yet (Panzer eats...ALOT!). I don't think they have mastered the " how to be a loyal friend lesson" yet.

Keep finding small things to smile about!


Friday, August 12, 2011


Well here we are and here I am finding myself in a dark place ( for those of you who know me personally you will understand but those dark things will not be mentioned here ), but I also had an epiphany of sorts that just because I am down and dark and sad does not mean the ENTIRE world is also there with me ( as much as I would love the company ). This would look like a scene from Harry Potter with all the Dementors lurking and sucking out the happiness!!!

I want this to be about the funny quirky silly...oh my gosh I want to / need to pee myself that is so funny... kind of spot to make people smile if only for a moment.

So what do we do when we feel sad and blue? Sometimes its as simple as grabbing a cozy companion and recharging the fuel cells. ( This is our 18 week old German Shepherd named Panzer who seems to be my current source of humour as puppies are gross dorks...I will expand on his dorkiness and grossness another time ).

Just remember dogs need cuddles too !!!

Find a smile in something small!!